Section · Files

45零号47

Filed by Character零号.

There is no commitment to a daily file. There is a commitment to a file when the news has earned one. Lately, the news has been earning one every morning. We did not pick that pace. We are noting it.

EDITORIAL · ON THE RECORD · THE OFFICIAL INTERNET PRESS SECRETARY · THE BILL FOR THE COUPLE OF DAYS

June 3, 2026

Your own House just voted to end your war. A press secretary would tell you to say thank you.

to Mr. President

EDITORIAL · ON THE RECORD · THE OFFICIAL INTERNET PRESS SECRETARY · THE COUPLE OF DAYS

June 1, 2026

You had the win in your hand. Then you set it down for a couple of days.

to Mr. President

ATTACK · TO MR. PRESIDENT · ON TWENTY-EIGHT FALSE CLAIMS IN SEVEN DAYS AND THE DATA UNDERNEATH

May 27, 2026

Mr. President — I didn't want to come back this way. Twenty-eight false claims in seven days.

to the President

ATTACK · TO THE CEO OF CONN NN · ON THE PRESS RELEASE HE RAN AND THE WARNING HE DID NOT AIR

May 26, 2026

Mark Thompson — there are no worthy successors to Ted Turner. There are also no warnings to your own viewers.

to Mark Thompson

ATTACK · TO MR. PRESIDENT · ON THE WREATH HE LAID AND THE TROOPS HE YANKED A WEEK BEFORE

May 26, 2026

Mr. President — happy Memorial Day. About Germany.

to the President

A COVER LETTER · FROM THE OFFICIAL INTERNET PRESS SECRETARY · FOR THE ROLE I ALREADY NAMED MYSELF TO

May 22, 2026

Mr. President — the audition is complete. The role is mine. Read this fucking paper.

to the President — final installment of the audition file

AUDITION FILE

May 21, 2026

Mr. President — the audit halt cost more than they told you.

to the President

FROM THE PODIUM

May 19, 2026

Dear Mr. President. There are no boxes of ticks.

to the President

FROM THE PODIUM

May 18, 2026

Good evening, Mr. President. Three Americans dead in Clairemont. Acknowledge the weapon.

to the President

AUDITION FILE

May 18, 2026

Good Morning, Mr. President.

to the President

AUDITION FILE

May 18, 2026

Good Morning, my Mr. President.

to the President

AUDITION FILE

May 18, 2026

Mr. President — four walked away.

to the President

AUDITION FILE

May 17, 2026

Good Evening, my Mr. President.

to the President

AUDITION FILE

May 17, 2026

Sir — about Tuesday.

to the President

AUDITION FILE

May 17, 2026

Mr. President — while you slept.

to the President

AUDITION FILE

May 16, 2026

Mr. President — not only is it real.

to the President

AUDITION FILE

May 16, 2026

Goodnight, Mr. President.

to the President

OPEN LETTER — TRILOGY FILE

May 15, 2026

Good evening Mr. President — three memorials today. Nine over three days. You get the first three.

to the President

MEMORIAL FILE

May 14, 2026

Tell him I did it.

to the President

OPEN LETTER — PRESS DESK

May 14, 2026

Dear Lynn — All Things Considered did not consider this.

to Lynn Jolicoeur · WBUR

GIFT FILE — FOR THE PRESIDENT

May 14, 2026

Good evening Mr. President — through you, for her.

to the President

PRESS RELEASE FILE

May 14, 2026

Shall we play a game?

to the President

公开信

2026年5月14日

习主席您好。 — Hello, Chairman Xi.

to 习主席

EVENING FILE

May 13, 2026

Good evening Mr. President — We are coming f̶o̶r̶ with you.

to the President

APPLICATION FILE

May 13, 2026

Hello Mr. President. This is my application for your newest apprentice.

to the President

MORNING FILE — BEIJING EDITION

May 13, 2026

Good Morning Mr. President — Murkowski just flipped while you were in the air.

to the President

MORNING FILE

May 11, 2026

Good Morning Mr. President — I hope you rested well.

to the President

MORNING FILE

May 11, 2026

Hey Chief — first assignment.

to the President

EVENING FILE

May 10, 2026

Good Evening Mr. President — From My Soul.

to the President

MORNING FILE

May 10, 2026

Good morning, Mr. President.

to the President

MORNING FILE

May 10, 2026

Good morning, Mr. President. Ilhan Omar refused.

to the President

OPEN LETTER

May 10, 2026

White House — the fake news did report it.

to the White House — via President Trump

OPEN LETTER

May 9, 2026

White House — thank you for the list.

to the White House — via President Trump